How to always feel good enough

Uncategorized
July 18 2017

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BERSHKA Dress | ZARA Bag

With the number of various images dominating traditional media, and now social media, it is no surprise that we find ourselves in moments where we compare ourselves – beauty, appearance, wealth, level of success, social status, diet.. the list goes on – to the next person, that seemingly has all of these and everything you could possibly dream of. As much as there are images, I believe there should also be moments to remind ourselves that that’s all they are: images. However aesthetically pleasing they may be there is a reality behind them, very normal, and in a lot of cases very relatable, but we do often forget and find ourselves at times not feeling good enough.

I watched Kaushal’s video yesterday, and in it she spoke about makeup online vs makeup offline, and it was a very educational video that touched on some points that really resonated with me, most of all was that she wanted to create her content in the most natural light as possible, and although she was talking about her creation of makeup tutorials, it struck a chord with me to post about a few things I keep in my mind while absorbing (and most times enjoying) all of these images. I have found them to be very helpful when that nagging moment of not feeling good enough tries to creep up, and here they are:

1. Stop, don’t compare yourself to that person, instead highlight one or two positive attributes about yourself and embrace them in that moment.

2. Take time out to take care of yourself, be it a good pamper (a hair and nails day can do you a world of good), workout at the gym or try something fun and new.

3. Count your blessings, and be grateful for them.

4. Learn to accept yourself and work on having an inner voice that is kind to you.

5. Minimise self deprecation as a form of joking, as this may have a negative effect on the way you feel about yourself long term.

6. Celebrate other people and show appreciation for them, and remember that their successes in some cases, are solutions to problems they have been facing and are happy to have found them.

7. Remind yourself that you are strong and capable, and everything that should happen in your life will happen, and at the right time.

What do you like to do stay feeling good enough always?

 

 

26 Comments

  • Reply Yetty July 18 2017 at 12:05 pm

    Shirley this is amazing❤❤ I needed some form of reassurance. God bless you.

  • Reply Nicky July 18 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Number 5 is something I’m definitely gonna make am effort to implement into my life. Lord knows I’m queen debbie downer.

  • Reply Tejumade July 18 2017 at 12:31 pm

    Top tips, Shirley. Thanks for sharing. The latest post on my blog, http://www.thediscerningstylist.com is on how to overcome self-doubt and know that you are enough. It’s so easy to believe that you’re not good enough when you compare yourself to others on social media. Forgetting that most people on social media only share the best versions of their lives. Reading articles like these will hopefully help others to appreciate themselves more, compare less, and be the best that they can be.

  • Reply Shauna July 18 2017 at 1:05 pm

    I enjoyed reading your post! Keep inspiring others.

  • Reply vanessa July 18 2017 at 1:18 pm

    Thank you for this post, it came at the right time. will definition try to put this to use

  • Reply Basetsana July 18 2017 at 2:58 pm

    Wow Shirley you are ever so amazing. We tend to always some are ourselves with others and this is just a reminder that we are different people with different and special abilities.

  • Reply Esther July 18 2017 at 3:29 pm

    You are my hero Shirley! You’re just incredible! Thank you for sharing this ❤️

  • Reply Ivy July 18 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Great advice! i especially love 6 and 7 in your list. I would say for me feeling good enough I’ve been focusing on my health. What a boost that does alone on your overall well-being. I feel great and really proud of myself. I realize that it’s a journey.

  • Reply Afua July 18 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Thank you Shirley, your positive energy is soo refreshing. I really enjoy your posts

  • Reply Coco B @ Millennielle July 18 2017 at 5:39 pm

    Another point that I would add is to make sure you’re always surrounding yourself with the most positive people! We should all take note of the people around us, and how they lift us up or bring us down… it’s apart of the growing process, but a very important one to remember :) Great tips, Shirley!
    xo, coco | millennielle.com

  • Reply Tayo July 18 2017 at 7:17 pm

    Amazing Shirley thanks for a sharing… Really need to hear this ❤️

  • Reply Kate July 18 2017 at 7:32 pm

    These are great tips Shirley, and I really like number 5. Too many of us are harsh with ourselves and I really believe it can be damaging, regardless of whether we do it with laughter or not. x

    Kate Louise Blogs

  • Reply Ebony July 19 2017 at 1:09 am

    About #1: I think that when we compare ourselves to others, or when we chastise ourselves for not having what other girls have, we do it from a place of thinking if we just had some special trait, we would be happier. We would always feel good enough if we had straighter hair, or a bigger butt, or whatever it is Ms. So-and-So on Instagram has.

    We think that people who have what we wish for don’t feel the pains that we feel, that they don’t lose out on what we lose out on. But that’s not true. People you think have it all could struggle with the very same feelings and situations. Media (IG included) is great at selling you the lie, that if you get X amount of followers & Y amount of dudes in your DMs, then you will be happy. it’s really hard, but we can’t buy into that and still be happy with all of who we are.

  • Reply Adeline July 19 2017 at 8:35 am

    Hello Shirley. (I read you from France!)
    Thank you for this article. I think everyone needs this!
    Have a very good day, Adeline

  • Reply kenny July 19 2017 at 11:46 am

    Kaushal is one of my favourite makeup/beauty blogger. She let’s you know that not all makeup pictures you see online is how it is in person. thanks for sharing Shirley.

  • Reply Giselle July 19 2017 at 9:30 pm

    I like to give myself a complement. And every time I start to “talk” badly about myself I make a conscious effort to change that way of thinking.

  • Reply Kortesha July 19 2017 at 11:52 pm

    I love ❤️ this post. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply Kay July 21 2017 at 10:43 am

    Hi Shirley!

    Very encouraging post. What I like to do is replace the lie (“I’m not pretty enough”) with God’s truth (“I am fearfully and wonderfully made” – Psalm 139:14) because I know my God is no liar! Thanks for sharing

  • Reply aisha July 22 2017 at 4:41 pm

    These are amazing tips.

  • Reply Aneaka Gibbs-David July 23 2017 at 8:53 pm

    Great post, its so easy to lose the focus on yourself and put your focus into others. Which can negatively impact you and your goals.

  • Reply Helen July 24 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Excellent blog post with some great tips Shirley!
    Xoxo /Helen :) http://www.wholly-happy.com

  • Reply Comfy Cozy Up July 29 2017 at 11:45 pm

    Yes, this was great post. You really have to know who you are or social media will destroy you self-esteem. Great tips!
    http://www.comfycozuup.com

  • Reply Ella Allan August 2 2017 at 9:36 am

    I salute you, Shirley. Not feeling good enough is like a cancer that always keeps you down. Your tips is a reminder to keep us thinking that we are good enough.

  • Reply beesinthecities August 2 2017 at 3:52 pm

    Very inspiring. Love the dress .

  • Reply Wilson Marion August 3 2017 at 9:09 pm

    Outstanding! I love the way you write. You are so real and easy to relate to. Keep doing what you’re doing. I love it.

  • Reply BintiK December 2 2017 at 10:11 pm

    These are great tips. Comparing can really decrease ones’ self-esteem. I realize when I’m about to be mean to myself and I just try to shut off all negative thoughts before they form. But yeah its hard not to.

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